Yesterday was an incredibly stressful day for me. Working where I do, does come with its share of deadlines, stresses, urgencies, and compliance, but yesterday in particular was a little more stressful than I'm used to. Lucky for me, my out of the norm day happened to fall on the day in my workout schedule where I do Power Yoga with Kili.
Yoga and I have a love/hate relationship and I say that with the utter most respect for yoga and all you yoginis. (however that is spelled) I am referring to yoga itself though, not my trainer and instructor Kili, who is amazing, and takes yoga to levels of creativity and functionality like no other. She has my complete respect and amazement of all her amazing talents. When I first started doing yoga years ago, I hated it… I am a natural multi-tasker and could not, no matter how hard I tried allow myself to clear my mind and do yoga as it is intended… I’d constantly find myself still working other issues in my head, being bored, and from a fitness standpoint thinking, what am I doing here, I should get out on the treadmill and get in some cardio… I didn’t really get into or find any enjoyment out of yoga until my back problems and nerve pain started. Yoga then became a challenge, where I’d have to figure out ways to maneuver my body to make poses work for me. Easier said than done too, depending on the level of my pain. I have a 3 pound green squishy yoga ball that if used the correct way allowed me to secure my pelvis to the floor and participate in most of the poses.
There were some days that the pain shooting down my leg prevented me from even simply lying on my back, let alone raise a leg or expect to move at all with any amount of grace. it was a rough time for me. As I got stronger though, as I strengthened my core I found a great amount of satisfaction in being able to do simple moves or poses even if I still modified my poses, progress was progress and the pain associated with any movement allowed me to take in yoga, concentrate on breathing and moving and all my other worries were gone, even if just for a while.
Yesterday in the midst of a my internal discussions and stress over what I was up against and how clearly far from my comfort zone I was in, it was noon.. time for yoga, and after a quick acknowledgement of my crazy uncomfortable day, my class began.
Since the beginning of the nerve pain almost 2 years ago now… I have slowly progressed and have even become quite good at Yoga, but I have good days and bad days and one of the simplest moves that you’d think would be no problem, moving from a plank to a lunge by bringing my leg forward and setting my foot in between my hands maybe 3 feet from where they were was not only difficult but nearly impossible. For the longest time, I had simply figured out a way to add several steps in the middle… plank to knee, adjust my hand placement and then lift and move my leg forward where it belonged, sometimes I’d even use my hand to assist in the movement… my way, after much practice, allowed a pain free way for me to get from point A to point B with enough grace to not to draw much attention to the fact that it was different. I don’t like to be different, I strive to be normal, to do normal things, to look normal, to feel normal… heck I even strive sometimes to be better than normal.
Kili as she often does, changed the flow of our class and for me change is good, it causes me to think about the moves more, pay attention to her voice and my body, it doesn’t leave much time for me to think about other things going on in my life. This class was particularly strength based, and sweat began to pour from my body… this is a good thing. I have been slowly trying to incorporate some non-modified movements and for the most part was practicing yoga with everyone else, doing the same moves as everyone else, that is everything except that simple transition from plank to lunge. I’m not sure why I even tried it, as I’ve actually become quite used to my own way of getting there, but I did try and I made it, or at least close to where my foot should land. No pain, and without much effort. Could it really be that easy? This particular move is done a lot throughout the class and with each attempt I got closer and closer to one smooth move as opposed to several mini-moves to get there. I found myself completely engaged in the lifts involved and the smoothness of moving my body part, OCD, yes I know… but I was so close, I was bound to get it right eventually. Class flew by and before you know it we were ready to lie down and just relax, eyes closed, and just be. This is where my mind usually drifts off to what I need to do next, tomorrow, any other time. But today, well yesterday, that didn’t happen. I didn’t think about anything. My mind was just relaxed I could feel my body parts, hear and feel my breath and was almost in a sleep like zone…
After class, I quickly remembered my current worries and off I went with my day, but for one hour I not only tapped into a part of yoga that I desire but rarely get, but I felt accomplished and because I actually fear the pain that I had, the fact that I did not modify my transitions and felt no pain, gives me an instant feeling of peace and health. Exactly what I needed at that time.
I’m so thankful for the friends and support I receive within the Sweat360 community but I’m not certain I express my thanks enough. How lucky am I to have such a positive environment to go to every day of the work week, in the middle of my work day.
Thank you to Kili, to Robert, and all my friends there, for the encouragement and support that helps keep me grounded, motivated, and moving forward in my journey. Actually participating in transitions the way they were intended… “check”. Now to the Kettle Bells… “that’s right, I’m talking about you, you may have me defeated for now, but just wait… I’m coming for you!”
Namaste
-kariebeth
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